Tomorrow is the first day of school for two of my three children and as always it brings about a plethora of mixed emotions for me as a mom….

First there is this weird sense of mourning which I experience every year at the end of summer.  I know it’s kind of silly but I can’t help but feeling a slight sense of sadness that the summer is over; coupled with the feeling that as a family we could’ve done more together.  This feeling is a little skewed however because the reality is that we did do a lot under the circumstances which represent the reality of our lives; yet it is always real enough for me to take pause and mentally tell myself that there is always next year to do those things which we didn’t get to this summer.

After the mourning passes there is a sense of excitement for both myself and my children.  I have never been a mom to cry on the first day of school.  Don’t get me wrong, I get a little teary-eyed when I send them off, but I know that they are basically pretty well prepared for what the school year has in store for them.  I am excited for them to expand their little minds and I am excited for them to reconnect with their friends and branch out socially.  I am excited to hear about their day and what they have learned.  I am excited for the structure that comes with the school year as my children in general do best when there is a routine.  For myself I am excited to reclaim some “me time.”  This is the time I use to get stuff done around the house or go for a walk with my toddler, or even treat myself to some down time without having to feel as if I need to keep everyone entertained.  Having this time helps me to better focus on my children when they do come home for school, because I’m able to accomplish things throughout the day that, once completed, won’t detract from time with them once they are home.

Another emotion that is quick to surface during this time is anxiety.  This is rooted in my desire as a mom to want the best for my kids.  I so badly want to see them happy, well-adjusted, and be well received by their peers.  I want them to find their niche and be successful academically.  So of course I worry about their transition into this new school year.

And of course what would a new school year be without the feeling of dread.  I dread the homework  – which traditionally in my household has resulted in major meltdowns and an epic battle of wills.  It also has resulted in major parental frustration on my part when I have to google how to do the work my oldest brings home because I either don’t do it the way the teacher does it, or I frankly haven’t got a clue what the instructions are asking. Sigh…

So I will close this out for now and say a little prayer that tomorrow is a good day for my children as they are finally back to school….