Maybe it’s because I am a mom and my time is already spoken for so those things that I need to do for myself take a back seat until the last possible second. Maybe it’s because I seem to do my best work under pressure. Maybe it’s because when I do have a free moment I want to spend it sitting down for a hot 5 seconds, not fulfilling my responsibilities of adulthood. Whatever the reason, I am once again facing the 11th hour and feeling the heat. I should be studying for a renewal class right now for my PALS re-certification and I can’t seem to muster the motivation to finish looking over the material. I keep telling myself to get it done but once again I am distracted – by life, by my responsibilities as a mom (tonight was back to school night and I “lost” 2 hours to that), and by the undeniable feeling of hating to study at this point in my life.
Juggling my personal life as a wife and mom to three active children with a career in which I am required to stay current with evidenced based research and incorporate it into my nursing practice is tricky to say the least. Finding time to read up on relevant practice information, studies, and knowledge is difficult as it often needs to be done in the evening after the kids have gone to bed, the lunches are made, the house is reassembled to pre-child destruction, and any other household chores have been addressed in some way. Sitting down come 8:30 or 9 pm to begin some intellectual piece of information is more a sure-fire way to put me to sleep, not promote learning. Thus, I often will put off what I need to do in the hopes that I will find time on another day at a more reasonable “learning hour.” Maybe it’s not so much that I procrastinate as it is that I am having delusions of grandeur to think that I will magically find some other time amidst my personal life chaos to sit and read, uninterrupted, and actually absorb what it is I am reading – so as to learn about what I am reading. Anyway, l will wrap this up as I have procrastinated long enough – time to study…..