1. Why am I the only one who can change the empty roll of toilet paper?
2. Why am I the only one who can do laundry, and do it correctly – that is, separate the whites from the colors?
3. Why am I the only one that can seem to come up with “what’s for dinner?”
4. Why, when the baby poops, am I the only one that can seem to handle the messy disaster?
5. Why am I the only one that can load the dishwasher correctly so that everything actually fits?
6. Why am I the only one that can find things that are conveniently missing right in front of my children’s faces?
7. Why am I the only one who notices that the kitchen garbage can is full and needs to be taken out?
8. Why am I the one everyone comes to with their problems but when it comes time for me to share my frustrations everyone scatters?
9. Why do my kids expect me to answer them from two rooms away but when they are right in front of me and I ask them a question I am met with blank stares and the sounds of crickets?
10. Why can’t I ever just “take a sick day?”
11. Why does my family keep thinking that some magical fairy cleans up their crap when they see me toting around a broom all day?
12. Why does my family not realize that if they’d help me out a little more around the house I might not be so darn bitchy?
13. Why am I the only one who finds it unacceptable to leave dirty clothes on the floor and wet towels draped on the furniture?
14. Why am I the only one who thinks that brushing your teeth more than once a day isn’t cause for a meltdown?
15. Why does my asking you to make your bed result in a battle of wills?
16. Why am I the only one who thinks that the bathroom hand towel should be for just that – your hands, not for you to wipe your mouth on after you’ve brushed your teeth.
17. Why am I always the last to sit down to eat dinner?
18. Why do I have to kill the gross bugs that you find on your bedroom ceilings?
19. Why am I the last one to go to bed but the first to wake up?
20. Why don’t I start drinking more wine?