So a few months back I had a heart to heart with my OB-GYN regarding the birth control pill I had been on for the last 3 years.  In a nutshell I told her how much I hated it.  I hated the horrific migraine headache I would get on Day 1 of my period that would last until about Day 3 – regardless of how I tried to manage it’s symptoms.  I hated the fact that my period was so super heavy on Day 1 into 2 that I couldn’t make it 2 hours without  a trip to the bathroom.  And I hated that my period lasted for about 6 days before coming to an end.  I requested to go back to the pill I had been on prior to getting pregnant with my daughter and she concurred that a such a change was certainly warranted based off of what I ‘d been enduring.  I was thrilled.  In addition to changing my pill, my doctor also altered how I was to take it – that is, she wanted me to skip 2 periods and only allow them to occur every third month (yup 4 times a year).  Even better I thought.  God the money I would save in tampons…. hooray!

I started my new pill without incident.  I skipped my first period without any unwanted side-effects.  Bonus I thought as I was anticipating some possible breakthrough bleeding or minor inconveniences – yet none occurred.  I started my second pill pack and was into week 2 of it when I made a unsettling discover one night.  Yes, that is when I realized I completely had missed a pill the night before.  Apparently I had taken Monday nights pill, totally forgotten Tuesday’s pill (that’s what happens when you lay down with your 4-year-old at bedtime rather than finishing out your night-time routine) and now on Wednesday night I was staring at both Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s pills in the packet.  A feeling a dread came over me as I did some quick “life instant replays” in my head and realized that should my little pill mishap have in any way opened the door of ovulation opportunity – I very well might be in trouble being that my husband and I had shared some very quality time together as of late.   I quickly downed the errant pill along with the one I was supposed to take and told myself I would allow myself to just get my period at the end of this 2nd pack.  No harm, no foul right?

As luck (said with sarcasm) would have it, during week three of my 2nd pack I got exposed to scabies at work (the joys of being a nurse) and as a precaution had to quell my body with a lovely chemical cream – solely as a preventative measure.  Even more reason to allow myself to get my period that following week.  The week of truth came and I waited and waited.  Finally late on Wednesday it showed up – barely.  On Thursday it came and it went and I spent Friday feeling as if at any moment it would come back.  It couldn’t actually be completely done I thought.  Yet, it did not return and I was left feeling oddly mixed in my emotional state.  A one day period – phenomenal! and yet very disconcerting in light of my little pill mishap.  Was this really my period?  It had to be – right?

So I began my next pill pack – the one I am on currently, and tried to put the gnawing thought that I might be pregnant out of my mind.  Until the other day.  In this last week I have felt unusually bloated.  I burp constantly, which as my best friend was quick to remind me (amidst her uncontrollable laughter) that I did that throughout my entire first pregnancy.  My boobs are kills me (sorry if its TMI) and occasionally I am getting this odd fluttering in my stomach.  I keep telling myself that all this is nothing, that its stress related, however; this little tiny voice in the back of my head keeps saying, “what if?”  And it’s that gnawing voice that got me thinking – good lord what if I am in that small percentage of women who managed to screw up her birth control pill and get pregnant?  What then?  I have three kids already – four if you count my husband.  I am almost 42.  I am finally at a place in my life where I am regaining some independence.  My youngest is in nursery school, she is finally wearing big girl underwear all the time.  She can do things for herself and while she still needs me she also is exploring her independence.  Professionally I like where my career is at.  If I am pregnant how do I start all over?  I gave away all of my baby stuff.  Our house only has four bedrooms and our cars seat 5, not six.  I am to tired to do 3 am feedings and diaper changes.  OMG the thought makes me want to cry and puke all at the same time.   Then the voice of reason says – there is no way you could be pregnant – right?

Guess it’s off to the store tomorrow to pick up a test…..