Breakfast time is a joke… When you don’t make your children breakfast they will whine and complain about how hungry they are, how they hate cereal, and how they are still hungry even after eating two full bowls (of the cereal they hate to eat).  They will even ask you “Why can’t you ever make pancakes?”  So, on the weekend, despite wanting to just sit down with a hot cup of coffee you roll up your sleeves and get busy.  And while you cringe at the mess being created (you know, the greasy splatter on the stove from the bacon along with the numerous bowls and dishes that will now need to be washed) you make that wondrous breakfast spread; which consists of those pancakes they’ve been requesting along with bacon, sausage and even hash browns….  You call them to the table all excited about how breakfast is so NOT cereal this morning – AND they eat like friggin birds.  Yup,  after one small pancake and a half a piece of bacon they tell you how stuffed they are and how they couldn’t possibly eat anymore.  You have got to be kidding me.  From now on it’s cereal, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Warning your kids of their behavior might deprive you of a good laugh later in life… A few weeks ago my girlfriend told me that she wanted to video her kids so she could show them how they’d been acting.  I stopped her right there with an emphatic “Don’t you dare! You want them to be as surprised and misled about parenting as we were.  If you warn them they might never have kids and then we can’t sit back and laugh when their kids act up.”  Point well taken…

Whisks are useless, use a fork… Yes they are functional and get the job done, but they are hard annoying to clean.  Use a fork, it works just as well at getting the job done and it’s a lot easier to clean.

Homework sucks as much for parents as it does our kids… Don’t be fooled.  While we love that they are in school we hate homework just as much as they do.  Nothing evokes more fear than the words, “Mom can you help me with my math homework?”  Because the inward answer is “I have no idea how the hell to do whatever it is they are doing.”  Yes I learned it in school but math nowadays is so completely different that I couldn’t even begin to figure it out…. well if not for google that is….